We went to high school together. They called you “the Butt Trumpet” because you could rock the auditorium with your expulsions (confirmed).
We dated in school and broke it off because you cheated on me with Francine and her pepperoni pizza looking face. I hated you and her acne.
Years later we met up on Dickson and I was in university studying Computer Science at the university. We hooked up and started getting serious again. I moved in with you and we had a little house in Cave Springs that was the sh*t. We had chickens and a goat named Little Peter. Life was amazing.
Eventually we got tired of the lies and bullsh*t (you lied and bullsh*tted. I was very radical still). We broke up and you told me I “should become a drama major because I’m a real dramatic c*nt”
Well I took your advice and switched my major to drama after we broke up and got a masters. And now the bills are piling up because there are no jobs for dramatic people like me. And the way I see it, you owe me $320 dollars a month for some of these student loans OR you have to deal with my drama and come love on me again.
I hate you but I also love you, a**hole. Come support me.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers